You begin to feel less certain about yourself, where once you were surefooted and never second guessed, now you are uncertain about your steps and your choices.

While you have become more sure of the ways of the world, you become more uncertain about the fluid vastness of your soul - how its shape and structure shifts and layers.

You are less certain about who you are. You used to pin them down to characteristics - things you care about, things that make you special, in a world full of people; talents, skills, ideas. Younger women come by everyday, surer, louder, more confident and sure-footed. Girls who are smarter, more knowledgeable, who look, speak and write better. Girls who brashenly speak loudly and confidently about everything. Such certainty. But you have seen the world to be large, inexplicable, complex. There is nothing you can say for sure.

You only know of the complexity of things. You only have seen the clear lines between black and white fade to a fuzzy grey. This gives you understanding, but it also leaves you bitter. You wonder if this is where the slippery slope starts... if this is the point where you awake to find yourself too old, too weathered to care. And you can awake in one of two ways. or you could awake in an endless possibility of ways.

You feel like something has to change. You live in this uncertainty. You accept that life is uncertain.