i had forgotten to write

i had forgotten
the shapes of the words that swirl
the swirls of the world that shapes
at the back of my head
as shadows of the things i see but do not believe in
in the material world.

i had forgotten this is how i breathe
i see
i live
i had forgotten i can feel nothing without this breath
no word, no sight, no sound
no desires,
no
dreams

and that is why,
i have been
merely an outline
a shadow
a cloud
a dark breath
wisping in the in betweens.