You imagine a scenario in which at the crucial point, you gave in to the inner numb buzz that let's you know that deeply, nothing really matters, and finally letting go, tired of all the nonsense and tired of all the voices, tired of all selfishness and all farces, tired of all the selling out of love and of justice, tired of being alone, you

got lost in the vast nothingness of white snow, snuck into a creak between the layers, embraced the numbness.