to dance is to keep in step with your partner, follow his lead, mirror your steps to his. there are the basic steps you keep in time, and there are the fancy swirls, where he leads you, lets you go, but you always come back, in step, in time, together. you are not leaning on him, however, you need your own posture, with feet firm to the ground, your core stable. only then can you, together, form the dynamic, fluid, structured tension, just the right balance, to bounce of each other's energy ...to flow, together. even if you misstep and lose count along the way. and even if your partner is out of time with the music, as you mirror him you need to be out of time with him as one. maybe the both of you are dancing to your own tune.
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if, however, you are a stickler for a certain beat and you need a lead who can keep the same rhythm in time because that is how your heart beats, then find that partner and keep in close all night - it would not do to dance with any other.
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